Home.

We arrived home late last night and are SO not ready to be home! We had such a good time being together for an extended period of time. It's been awhile. I'm going through the 1100 pictures we took to post a few, but wanted to share these from my phone!



We spent Saturday evening in Baltimore and went to the "date night" event that the aquarium put on. It was magnificent. No kids, no annoying parents trying to discipline their kids. Beer, wine and German food. And sharks. Divine.



Delicious mint mocha and pumpkin muffin from Ebeneezers!



We stayed a block and a half from The Capitol! It made for some lovely evening strolls.



Also, while we were gone our nieces were born! We are going to meet them tonight when Tyler gets out of school!! I love them already!



I also had this necklace from my friend Lindsay waiting on me when I got home. I adore it. Such a sweet reminder of our Bluebaby.

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October 15th

Tomorrow is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. I wish I weren't someone with a story. But my story is so fresh. The loss is so new with me. With us.

I had a miscarriage Monday, October 3rd. I was 6 weeks, 5 days pregnant with our first child.

The loss is unimaginable. I know people who have lost babies, I have said "I am sorry, I'm praying for you." to all of them. And that is 100% the truth. But, I had NO idea how much they were actually hurting. No clue of the loss and heartache they were actually going through. I wish I were still oblivious.

I'm still hurting. I'm sure I will be hurting for a very long time. We were SO happy to be pregnant. I'm afraid I will never have that pure joy and excitement ever again. I've been told that I will. I'm not a place that I can share everything. I don't know if I ever will. And that's okay.

Tyler has been so strong. But I have had to remember that I am not the only one mourning. Tyler is sad, too. He doesn't know the physical pain, but he has emotional pain. I have to remind myself that I'm not the only one hurting in our home.

I am SO thankful for the friends and family I have. They have been absolutely amazing during the last 2 weeks. Amazing. I know I am not alone. We have felt so much love and support from everyone. I hope that you will never have to go through this, but if you do I pray that you have support all around you.

I'm also thankful for our Lord. I don't know how people get through so much pain without Him. I know we couldn't have. We have had so many amazing people praying for us and we know it's helped.

Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Romans 12:12

One last thing, please know this wasn't posted to get sympathy. I merely want to share part of our story. Until I told a few people, I had no idea how common this was. It doesn't make it hurt any less, but it is good to know I'm not alone. Other people have been exactly where we are now. They've gotten through it. I will get through it. Other people after me will also get through it.

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We are in Washington, D.C. and we just left the George Washington Masonic Monument.



A little backstory: Tyler has cerebral palsy. He has had a lot of surgery in his short 26 years. The majority of his surgeries happened at the Shriners Hospital for Children in Shreveport. They wear hats.

As we are touring the Shriners room in the Memorial my sweet, dear, hilarious husband says "well that explains the damn hats. Those things scared me all my life."

Apparently no one explained the men in hats to Tyler. Ever.

He just thought there were creepy men in hats. He had no idea they were the wonderful men paying for his surgeries. Bless him.


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